Little brown eyes gazing up at me full of trust.   A warm little body relaxing as he latches on and the urgency of his hunger fades.  Peace.  Middle of the night together.  Stolen moments that belong only to me.      

Breast feeding was a goal.  I knew it would be good for Ty.  What I didn’t know was how good it would be for me.  How much I would enjoy it. Ty spent the first four days of his life in the NICU.  I had to pump every three hours.  Such a sterile, impersonal, awful start to something that has nourished my soul so much.  Breastfeeding is the most peaceful thing I have ever done.  What a gift from the Creator to offer a slow gradual transition away from the physical attachment of pregnancy to the independence of a new person.

I didn’t get to nurse Ty until he came home. Five days old. My mama was the only one there.  Speaking to us both in patient, hushed tones.  He latched on and I looked up at her in wonder.  I watched her remember.  She whispered, “Isn’t that amazing?”  


  1. Anonymous says

    i did all of my kids for the first year but no more. my youngest was a preemie….it is such and gift. i love the bonding that no one can take from you or understand why that bond is so strong. good luck

  2. says

    Oh, Abbie! You make me wanna cry when I come by here. You make me remember the tiny tender things. Nursing my firstborn did not go well. It was such a struggle and left me feeling like such a failure. My heart was broken. And of course, I was NOT a failure…disappointment and hormones were messing with me. :) But I was able to nurse my other two, and yes, just like your SWEET momma said, it was just amazing.

    Hugs to you, precious woman of God! :) How blessed your little man is. :)

    • says

      It is hard in the beginning, but after his time in the NICU with tubes and meds I was so glad I was able to nurse. Human touch is healing. For him and me. Thank you for your sweet comments. They are always special to me.

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