Before I was a mother, I always loved reading those little gift plaques about motherhood. You know the ones I’m talking about. You find them at Hallmark or gift shops or craft shows. They usually look hand painted and say sappy things like “Another word for mother is Love” or “God couldn’t be everywhere, so He created mothers.” (Bad theology, but still sweet.) I would read the phrases and feel my heart swell at the thought of one day joining the ranks of motherhood. Tonight, as I checked on Ty one last time before going to bed, I was reminded of one of these little quotes:
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
This phase ran across my mind as my surprise at what I had just seen began to settle. When I tip-toed into the nursery and looked into the crib, I saw something I had never seen before. Something that surprised me. Curled up there, in footed pajamas, was my heart. And I didn’t even know it had left me.